All fantasy baseball owners are logical. It’s logical to listen to trade offers. All fantasy baseball owners will listen to trade offers.

Anybody who plays in keeper leagues knows the fallacy of the above syllogism. Fantasy baseball owners are NOT always logical. Reader Dom points out that he’d trade anyone on his roster to make his team better — logical, right? —but that others in his league overvalue their own players and waive around the dreaded-U word: “How should I approach other owners about their players, when I get a one word response ‘untouchable‘?”

Fortunately, there’s hope, and we’re reminded of the old story about a drunken Winston Churchill walking up to a woman at a dinner party.

“Would you sleep with me for one million pounds?” Churchill asks.

“Maybe,” the lady responds.

“How about one pound?” Churchill retorts.

“Of course not, what kind of woman do you think I am?” the woman responds indignantly.

“Madam, we’ve already established what kind of woman you are,” said Churchill, “Now we’re just negotiating the price.”

The word, “untouchable” is a dirty word in the fantasy baseball lexicon, a dagger in the heart of those who love and need to trade, and maybe just as annoying as owning Milton Bradley. No strategic measure is a full-proof canon against the stone wall, but modern bargaining theory does offer some wisdom. 

First, a few things that won’t be effective:

• Insulting or talking down to the other owner: You’ll only be poisoning the relationship. Trade negotiations are as much about relationships between owners as they are about player values.
• Arguing the merits of your player or the faults of the player you are hoping to acquire: Doing so puts the focus on winning the merits of the argument rather than executing a mutually-beneficial trade. Besides, talking trash about a player you want is, obviously, transparent.
• Rejecting or accepting their position: You’ll either be insulting their intelligence or walking away. In either case, you won’t accomplish your goal and you may find it tougher to bargain with the other side in the future.

Trade negotiations should be a carefully choreographed dance.

The best way to avoid the obstinacy of the “untouchable” tag is to avoid it in the first place. That means putting the focus on your players by provoking discussion about your attractive commodities. We recommend not throwing out a wholesale list of the names of the players you have on the trade block; Instead, solicit general trade interest. When approached about a specific player, note to your fellow owner that he or she indeed has a wise eye for talent as others have approached you about that same player. Make the other owner compete for your player. Make them prove they have what it takes to get that player. The discussion won’t be focused on their “untouchables” but rather on whether they have the goods to attain their desired target.

Unfortunately, stating the player you want to acquire sometimes becomes unavoidable. Should that happen, here’s a few tips on how to handle the situation:

• Do your homework and know what would serve the other team’s best interest. But don’t explicitly state it outright. (Doing so will throw you and the other owner into the types of arguments described above you should hope to avoid.) Instead, very tactfully guide the other owner into an analysis process where he or she will work out the same conclusion.
• Ask a lot of open-ended questions: Doing so is an alternative to rejecting or accepting their position. The questions should focus on the other team’s needs and the other owner’s player evaluations. Ask the other owner about the ways he thinks he can improve his team. Ask them to project a player’s performance in the coming season. Ask them to project a player’s draft position or potential auction salary. 
• Turn the negotiation into a problem-solving exercise. Give them a stake in the outcome. Be respectful and eventually, you may come eye-to-eye with the other team about the illogic of them denoting a player as “untouchable.”

Again, there is no such thing as a strategy that cuts through stubbornness. And yes, as Dom pointed out, owners are emotionally attached and perceptually biased towards those players they already own.

So one last bit of advice: It’s much easier to replace a fellow human being’s “virtual” commitment to an abstract commodity like a ballplayer by sincerely forging a real relationship with someone in your league. So, forget about e-mail and pick up the phone once in a while. Or take a page from Winston Churchill’s book by meeting your potential trade partner for a drink. Alcohol works too.